It seems all the talk these days in Northern Indiana is the Bears and the Colts. Even my friends Abe and Lisa who could care less about sports, particulary football, found themselves turning on the Colts game last Sunday afternoon. The Super Bowl is a crazy event that seems to pull the vast majority of Americans to the television to watch the game, sports fans and non sports fans alike.

When I first started watching football the top teams in the NFL were the Dallas Cowboys and Buffalo Bills. Since I am a huge Philadelphia Eagle fan there was no way in the world that I could cheer for the Cowboys in the Super Bowl which left the Bills as the only option to root for. I also happened to be one of those football fans who really enjoyed the game and did not want to be distracted by all the people around me so each year I chose to watch the game in the friendly confines of my living room with only my father who usually only watched one football game a year. Every year I was invited to parties to watch the game, but for some reason it was a higher priority for me to analyze the game in peace and quiet rather than enjoy food, fellowship and entertainment with close friends. At some point in my life and it is hard to pinpoint exactly when, my priorities changed. Even though I still love the solitude of watching a game by myself I have realized that there is a deeper need within my soul to be in relationship with others. This Super Bowl make those relationships a priority and watch the game together. If nothing else at least you will get to enjoy good food and (hopefully) entertaining commercials.

Living and being married to someone who has her MA in Interpersonal Relationships has its major advantages, especially for someone like me who generally speaking does not have a clue
when it comes to being relational and understanding how to interact with others in a way that promotes great conversation. A little while ago I learned an extremely important lesson from her about interacting with others about pain and shame in a vulnerable way that is profitable for relationships.

Leading and/or being part of a small does have its challenges. One of the greatest personal challenges for me is how to show genuine care and empathy when from a human perspective there appears to be different levels of sin or inability to relate to another persons pain because I might not have dabbled in that particular kind of sin or I may not have ever experienced that particular kind of pain. I was frustrated by my lack of genuine care with fellow brothers and sisters and I talked through these things with my wife, she explained to me a concept that I know believe is key to day to day interaction, especially interaction within the small group setting. This is a paraphrased version of what she had to say; 'I may not be able to understand exactly what your pain is, but I do know what it feels like to be hurt and I may not understand what it feels like to be living in that particular kind of sin but I do know what it feels like to be living in sin. It is possible to genuinely care and understand other peoples sin when you remember what it is like for you to feel hurt and translate those feelings into care for others.'

Think about these things and try them out. I guarantee that it will hep you care for those in your group even better.

My wife and I have a tradition that entered its second year this Christmas. We write out own story from the previous year. That story includes themes that we saw in our life the previous year, ways that the Lord provided, what we have learned, significant events and so on and so forth. We each prepare our own story and then we share them with each other on New Years Day and enjoy a meal out. (Eating out is a special occasion for us because we do it so rarely) Through sharing these stories with each other we are really able to understand the role that we played in each others life and exactly how our own personal stories have been shaped by the events and relationships of the previous year.

The idea of telling stories as a way of strengthening relationships is illustrated in this excerpt from a book that I am currently reading.

"One of the characteristics of our church culture at Brentwood involves a long standing pattern of teaching through story telling. It has always been one of the distinct components we wouldn't want to change. Our relationship closeness depended on sharing faith stories with each other. It still does. our congregation seems to open her arms to those who get personal."
-Sue Mallory "The Equipping Church"

Telling your own story creates a certain vulnerability and enables others to see the role that they play in your life. Once again my challenge to you is to share the story of how those around you have impacted your life. Sharing highs and lows within a small group setting allows each person to see and understand the role that we play in each others life story.